Lust is just a child's game. And you, oh you were always late to bloom.

Well, what an exhausting past two weeks it has been. Went to Venice last Thursday, which was really good fun. Such a beautiful and unique place, never experienced something like it before. So romantic, so full of culture and history. You could imagine what it was like back in the 1700s etc, apart from the weather getting down to -15 due to -10 wind chills it was fantastic. We all bought masks and costumes for carnival, a special week in Venice that they celebrate every year where they act out their original drama and go back to their heritage. It was something I had never seen before, it sucked you in with all the colours and music, definitely something I recommend going to, but bring extremely warm clothing!!


Ben Howard has been my soundtrack this half term, religiously listening to him in Venice and on the flight to San Fransisco, and then on the flight to Vancouver. Which is where I am currently, the jet lag is a bitch, 10hours behind UK time, so it's been a bit of a mission to get into eating, sleep at the right time. We flew in from Venice on Sunday evening, then flew to San Fransisco very early Monday, then waited for 6hours in San Fransisco before a 2 hour plane journey to Vancouver. So I can safely say I've done my fair share of flying this week.

Sometimes it's so nice to go away to a foreign country to get away, to be unable to contact, getting away from all the happenings of home life. Although, saying that I miss home a lot, I miss cuddles and kisses, the sound of peoples voices, the smell etc. but when someone goes away I think you learn to appreciate them more, right? Not having them on tap all the time, sometimes not meaning to take them for granted, you know? Plus, when you next see them it is so special, right? Well that's what I'm telling myself.

Typical, the first valentines day I have a boyfriend and I'm away. But I had the best surprise ever when I flew home from Venice, probably the best surprise I've ever had. Even made me a little teary eyed, shhh. How was your valentines? I'm interested in what everyone got? Or if you celebrated it or not? It's funny, when I think about my blog this time last year I was moaning, complaining, about valentines day. How it's so depressing blah blah blah... Little did I know this time the following year it would be completely different. Shows that it's just a matter of time before it's your turn. Trust me. Everyone gets a turn! Happy, happy, bunny.

Only 6days till I'm home! Bittersweet, I'm enjoying myself a lot. Eeeek. Might pop to the SPA later, anyways...

Hope you're having a banging half term.

Have a good one.

B x

Like a broken tape, what you do, what you do, what you do...

Relationships, friendships, partnerships, all kind of 'ships' are so hard. They need constant attention and constant care. Sometimes, a lot of the time, that's the problem, life gets in the way, no ones direct fault. Just the way it is sometimes. I think the reason we fight, fall out, argue, complain, about and to each other, is the passion behind a relationship. We love the other person so much, we miss them, we want to see them, and when we feel like they aren't reciprocating those feelings or making an effort, we explode.

Not in a nasty way, we probably don't mean to offend, hurt, guilt trip or upset the other person. But there is so much love, passion and attachment to that person that we feel put out or jealous. No one ever said relationships were going to be easy, and they're the furthest thing from easy. But I think sometimes we all need to sit back and take a look at our relationship, see how lucky we are to have one another. I think the insecurities stem from previous happenings in relationships, being ditched by other friends, not having attention from previous boyfriends, other partners not making an effort etc. You immediately assume that's where your relationship is going to end up, and yes sometimes it might, and yes other times it won't. You just have to choose which relationships are worth it?!

Life's hard at the best of times, but as long as you make an effort, try and appreciate others, then that's half the battle, right? I think we forget how much we need each other, without friends and lovers your life isn't fulfilled or happy. I know you can be happy within yourself, on your own, but friendships and relationship bring a certain type of happiness, one nothing else can. It's really the simple things.
Sometimes I know it can feel like the world is against you, but see it as a positive, it'll make you closer and stronger. It'll be worth it in the end. And if it wasn't then they clearly weren't worthy of your time or energy. Pick and choose who are the ones worth fighting for and putting up with!

Thank God this week is over, and this weekend is over. Going to Venice in 11days, can't wait. I have a long to-do-list for the next month, my best friendship being at the top! Bad situations make you realise how lucky you are. Can't wait for January to be over, it definitely lived up to it's "blue month" status, I swear it seems to get worse every year.

Re-found my love for Usher's - Confessions Part II album. Such a good album.

Have a good one.

B x

I really wish she had a different way of viewing things, I think the city that we're from kinda ruined things. It's such a small place- not much to do just talk and listen, the men are jealous and the women all in competition.

And as I gave it to him my heart was torn.

I can safely say, this week has probably been one of the most emotional, stressful and mind-blowing weeks, not to mention the hassle of exams on top. I am so glad, glad is an understatement actually, that this week is now over.

It's made me realize a number of things -
1. not everything is as straightforward as it seems
2. we all judge people and have preconceptions of others before we really know them
3. best friends really are probably the most important thing you have in your life, without them you have nothing, literally, nothing
4. everyone makes mistakes
5. we shouldn't always show our emotions, sometimes it is not necessary

Sometimes when something bad happens to someone so close to you, it makes you sit back and look at yourself, your life, your good qualities, your bad qualities, the good things in your life, the bad, your future, your present and the things you classify as important to yourself. Taking this into consideration, I've noticed that we worry about far too many things, school, exams and qualifications being the main one. Just because you're not the more intelligent, most academic, the person with the best A-level results, doesn't mean you're not gonna do big, successful things with your life. I think school forget to teach us that, it's not all about grades. It's about what type of person you are, how you handle situations and yourself. They are the important things!


I feel a bit blah tonight, a bit sad, I think the week has taken a toll on my emotional state, I don't think the lack of sleep from my exams has helped. I just feel worried, how I used to feel about stuff, don't you hate it when you feel like you're going backwards, to how you used to be, when that's really the last thing you want or need. When you thought you'd got over that, for good, cos it's not good for you... I think I'm just being a dramatic girl. Just insecurities, eating me up again, making me feel blah. Hopefully a good night sleep and a cuddle from my mummy will help?!

Anyway, enough with my rambling post tonight (I haven't rambled for a while I feel! An improvement. I think so!)

Hope all your exams went well, if you were taking any.

Have a good one.

B x

It is such a secret place, the land of tears.

Jealousy is nothing more than a fear of abandonment.

I hate technology, once again my phone has packed up. Part of me wished that things such as phones, laptops, the internet etc. hadn't been created, I think life would be much simpler. I realised today that things get so twisted and miscommunicated when you talk via email, facebook, text... Something meant in a light-hearted, harmless way can be completely distorted. Even a simple, "okay" or "no" can cause someone to feel stung or offended, it's strange isn't it? How the tone of someones voice changes everything. I am a complete sucker for this, I am a sensitive person, so suffer from this quite a lot. I always read deeply into things, and usually find myself getting upset or wound up by something someone meant in a playful or jokey way.

Another reason why I hate technology is it replaced one of my favourite things, hand-written letters. I absolutely LOVE them, I have many that I have collected and saved over the years. There is something so personal, that makes you feel so special when you receive a hand-written letter, the sheer effort and time that's gone into it, makes you feel so, important.

I feel a bit, mmmm, funny today. My ulcers still haven't gone and are burdening me with such pain, I could cry. The revision fell flat on its face today, again. So overall, hasn't been a winning day, but Angus & Julia Stone are making my mood change from one of sadness to one of mellowness. Can't wait for all of this to be over, only 158days till I finish school forever. Sounds like a long way away, but also sounds so soon too.

My favourite quote at the moment, one of my best friends said it to me today - "you only realise how good your memory is when you have something you need to forget." Interesting isn't it?...

Anyway, off to make myself a cup of tea and to get into bed with my revision books, and my puppies. Love spending my Saturday nights like this.

Have a good one.

B x

I'll taste the devil's tears, drink from his soul, but I'll never give up you.

I'm too proud, for love.

Today, well, I went into melt down. Literally was on the verge of crying, and I'm NOT crier by any means!! School, exams and ulcers are getting way too much for me at the moment. I think it's the shock of going back to school, but my boy and best friends did come to the rescue, and scoop me up.

I'm kinda stuck on what to write today, apart from the usual - stressing with school, uni, my life etc. But you hear that all the time and have usually heard my rants before...

I saw one of my best friends for dinner last night, helping her with the typical teenage girl dilemmas of, boys! We talked about all sorts, their minds games, their ability to have a hold on you, how there is always one who can - in the words of Adele, melt your heart to stone. I wonder whether girls have the same affect? I'd like to think it's not all a one way street, never can tell. The thing I hate about giving advice, is that people don't always take it. I'm not saying I'm a guru or that people HAVE to take my advice, I'm saying that people don't really need advice, you know deep down what you should do. Best friends just need to sometimes tell you and back you up, confirm those thoughts. What I hate is when that person knows that you're right, but they don't do it. Or make up excuses of why they won't do it. Mmmm, frustrating. Everyone is just scared, scared to lose out or to mess up, no one wants to take risks, but sometimes the gain is so spectacular, so amazing, so more then worth it, they risk not having that.

Anyway, I've got a new song for you, I love it. Love the lyrics. Love her. And she's done a remix with DRAKE! Could it be any better? Hope you like it.

Right, off for a bath, bowl of soup and my trusty business studies books. Yay, loving life! Cannot wait for this month to be over... COME ON 28th! Good luck anyone else who has exams.

Have a good one.

B x

I think I'm a little bit, little bit. A little bit in love with you, but only if you're a little bit, in lalalala love with me.

I've come to know that memories, were the best things you ever had.

I hate January, so much. It's pretty much the worst month ever, makes me feel so like blah. Unhappy. I miss summer, not that it was even the best summer, it was a good summer, not as good as it could have been, but still. Summer, full of no worries, no stress (no school related stress, until results day), no early mornings, no cold nights... etc. It's just, ah, magical. There's something about summer that makes everything seem okay, that makes everyone in a brilliant mood, everyone is untouchable. WAAA. I miss summer. *sad face*

But I am determinded to make sure this summer is going to be even better, even more exciting, eventful and just overally WOW. Everyone has one of those summers which, "changed their life" - I am gonna make sure this one is one of them. Hehe.

I wish I was naturally intelligent, that I didn't have to revise that BAM I had all the knowledge and ability to write amazing essays, without any effort. I envy everyone with that ability or with photographic memory.

Sometimes emotions confuse me, I hate insecurities, I wish I didn't have them, or as many. Funny how different environments make people show their emotions in different ways, mmmm, confusing.

Excuse the randomness. 

Have a good one. 

B x

I could have given you everything you wanted, everything you needed.

I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when they're right. You believe lies so that you eventually learn to trust no one, but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so that better things can fall together.

Life is never easy, but it is more fun this way, otherwise, well, it'd just be boring.

Have a good one.

B x

I spent my time, watching the spaces that have grown between us.

Wow, it's been over a year since I started my blog. How times flies, doesn't it? So much has changed, but when life goes by you don't really notice the change till, BAM. Everything is different, and you wonder to yourself, how did all this happen so quickly? How did I not stop it? How did I not see it coming?

The answer - I don't really know? Things don't change quickly really, even though one night might drastically change something, it doesn't mean it hasn't been slowly changing for a while. If you see what I mean? People change, things change, you change, not that any of it is a bad thing, it's just well, different. And different is sometimes, a lot of the time, good. But yet, sometimes change is hard and hurtful, especially when you're either not aware and not wanting change, and when the change painful.

But - everything works out in the end. We all know that!

Goodbye 2011, you bittersweet, changing, emotional, exciting, memorable, hurtful, worth it year. I can't say I'm sad to see you go... But then I can't say I'm happy either. 2012, I'm looking forward to, don't let me down?

Time to, forgive and forget.

Hope you all had a banging start to the new year, mine was, well, urm, surreal to say the least. But that's another story.

Revision is being a bitch even more so, wish I had work ethic, and an attention span. Damn it! So, Ben Howard is helping me, I'll add some of his songs to my Hypster. Love love love.

Hope you have a good one, and that 2012 brings you all you want and more.

B x

Keep your head up, keep your hear strong.

I'm just looking, I'm not buying, I'm just looking, it keeps me smiling.

A random post... I thought all those things were cute.

So, I curled my hair, maybe too much? I look a little like a poodle, but love it all the same.

I think my posts are so short, cos I'm so happy at the moment CRINGE, yes I know. Haha. Hope you're all feeling happy too?

Christmas round the corner, still not feeling Christmassy. Mmmmm.

Oh, I made a tumblr, more time to waste yaya. Revision is a dick, blaghhh. 

Hope you have a good one.

B x

PS. good things come to those who wait, I promise!

I say I'd rather be with you but you are not around. So I'mma call somebody up and see if they be down.

“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. There is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart.. I'll always be with you.” - Winnie the Pooh


You can't beat disney. 


Happy birthday best friend! 


Off to wrap presents. 


Have a good one.


B x

If you don't love me, someone else will, dont you ever get too comfortable.

So, Christmas is nearly here. Am I the only person who isn't feeling Christmassy? I don't know what it is? I wish I did feel Christmassy...

Revision has started, such a little bitch. But I know I've got to do it, which sucks so much, I actually found somewhere I can revise, I think. Quite exciting, hope I do well. Aaaah. Fingers crossed.

I had one of my best friend's 18th - ended with a bang and not a good bang, I had my speech all prepared, but didn't get to do it sadly. Too much drama irrupting. By writing the speech it showed and reminded me of all the amazing things we had done together, from morning runs, dog sitting to our yearly holidays and helping each other with boy trouble. Money really can't buy those things, it's actually crazy how much we've done in five years. Wow. Can't wait for her to do a speech at my 21st hehe.

Talking about time, I'm excited for the future, I think recently I've been reassured. One of the best feelings is choosing and deciding to be with someone in the future, talking about what you want to do together and are going to do together. A gratifying feeling, hehe, can't wait. Hope all goes to plan, you never can tell.

I miss my iPhone SO much, hate the stupid BlackBerry. ARGH. Don't buy the Bold 9900 - battery life is shit and it freezes.

I feel content, I haven't felt like this for such a long time. Dare I say it, I'm happy. Really happy.

Right, got my philosophy tutor now, TWO hours, aaaaaah. Wish me luck!

Have a good one.

B x

I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour. But heaven knows, I'm miserable now.

This time in ONE WEEK I'll be on my Christmas holidays, wow. I just can't get over how fast this term has gone, a little too fast if you ask me. Wish it had gone slower, so much slower. I'm dreading the Christmas holiday, for many reasons but mainly due to the amount of work I'm going to have to do over the 3 and a half weeks we have. Ah, blah, but if I mess up my exams I can only blame myself... WAAA.

On a lighter, better note, I've got all five offers from UCAS for next year. Which is such a relief, I now have choices, if I manage to pull these exams off. So less pressure there. Next year, the bittersweet year. We'll see how it all goes.

I love the fact I've got so close to my now best friends, I think it gets to a point where you make a decision on who you want to be friends with, who matters and who really doesn't. Friendship isn't a one way street and more so recently I've realized this. People are in your life for a reason, you should remember that, whether because they want to be, or whether you choose them to be. However, losing friends and friendships is such a hard and unsettling feeling. Always think it's their loss too, not just yours! Honestly, I promise.

Missing someone, a funny thing, even if you see someone everyday, it doesn't stop you missing them when you're apart. For some reason or another when you haven't seen them that day or week, it can almost be a bigger impact then one of someone who doesn't see the one they miss for months etc. Due to the routine and familiarity, it's so nice when you just love spending time with someone. Did that make sense? Probably not haha. Bottom line, I missed you today.

Got an 18th birthday dinner tonight, quite excited. But alas, another yes, another, clothing crisis. When will I ever learn? Planning outfits really REALLY decreasing the stress that I'm going to face in an hour or so. Oh B, silly, silly, B.

Also, can anyone recommened me some heated rollers, I'm desperate for some, and I want some good ones. Hehe.

Hope you have a good one.

B x

I HATE DECISIONS.

Mirror on the wall, here we are again. Through my rise and fall, you've been my only friend.

I'm currently researching for my A2 drama piece, it's stimulus is PostSecret. Something that you probably already know I love. It's been a harrowing evening going through and researching, finding out, and judging people via their secrets. Okay, maybe judging isn't the right word, well, commenting and empathising about them.

The style of our piece is creative adaptation, meaning that we can take for example, a PostSecret and develop, adapt and create a story about the person/secret, and the meaning and emotion behind it. I'm enjoying it, a lot, it's just - mmmm, difficult as there is no limit on what you can do, sometimes leading us to have billion pound worth ideas haha. I couldn't think of any other people I'd rather be doing this with, my group is just fantastic!

Whilst I've been traipsing the internet and viewing countless amounts of secrets, I feel, almost, rude. These people have opened up, bared their personal, intimate, secret and here I am, looking at them. They're so beautiful - all of them, and it makes you think, everyone has a secret, EVERYONE and to me, it's really reassuring. Everyone has something heartbreaking that's happened to them, yet we're all so quick to judge and hurt one another. Hmmmm. Well, that's life I suppose.

If anyone has used creative adaptation or has any ideas, please let me know. I'd love to hear how other people used the style and what they did with it.

“The children most broken by the world become the adults most likely to change it.”

—

Frank Warren

Two Christmas presents down... Too many to go. Hoping the next three weeks go VERY slowly. I definitely need to invest in a winter coat too, and wearing more clothes. Hehe.

Have a good one.

B x

Lipstick on the glass.

Well, I haven't blogged for ages! Sad times. But I think you'll be pleased to know - I don't have much to complain about. Hehe. Makes a change, doesn't it?

Everything is kinda like, smooth runnings currently. I've got three offers from UCAS so far, all of which I am estatic about!! Got both my first two choices - but then again it's not just getting offers it's the grades I need to get there. Ah just, a relief that somewhere wants me. 

I'm just feeling well, happy, content, satisfied at the moment. Regardless of some of the drama going on in other parts of my life, but they somehow seem to be irrelevant to me generally. I think I've come to the conclusion, no matter how hard you try to make things work, or how badly you want something, doesn't mean you're gonna get it, or that someone wants the same as you. Sad realisation yes, but I wish I had make this realisation earlier, would have saved on the mess it made. People fuck about, plain and simple, people fuck you up, plain and simple, but then at the end of the day it takes YOU to stand up and walk away. For you to decide what you want to happen, be in control. 

So that's exactly what I've done, become the bigger person. I realised I stressed and worried about things that, yeah I could have done something about, but I didn't and subconsciously I knew what I was doing. So I'm done. Hopefully I've made the right choice, only time will tell... 


Ah this philosophy essay is so long, so much to do. The ontological argument is ah, effort, why did I choose this subject? So hard. Makes me think too much! So Drake is helping me through, gosh my blog is basically a Drake shrine. Haha. 

I'm not even gonna start on Christmas. All I have to say is - WAY TOO SOON. 


Hope you're all well. 


Have a good one. 


B x

Jealousy is just love and hate at the same time.

It's here, finally at long, long, long, LONG last!

Drake's album, Take Care is here. I.S and I have been anticipating this album for such a long time. Felt like Christmas came early, and YES it has most DEFINITELY lived upto my expectations and hers, I think?! Hehe.

His lyrics are stunning as always. If you don't have the album I cannot recommend it enough.

Blah, I'm ill - yes I know I always seem to be ill. But I am genuinely ill :( waaaa. I wanna get better, being poorly is SO boring.

I didn't realize really till now, how the past really, really effects your future. I mean more emotionally, like if you've been hurt in a certain way, you now, naturally protect yourself more? But sometimes that's not necessarily the best thing to do. It sucks, everyone has secrets, everyone has something others don't know about them. But, I guess some secrets aren't worth sharing, right?

"Live without pretending, love without depending, listen without defending, speak without offending." - Drake

I thought that was a good quote to leave with... 

Have a good one.

B x  

PS. My favourite is "Look What You've Done" - give it a listen! Hope you enjoyyyyy. 

But believe I remember it all.

Yes, that's right I'm now an adult! WOOHOO.

I know it sounds ridiculous but when I was younger I never thought I'd make it to 18. Am I the only one who thought that? I can't quite get my head round it - I'm a proper grown up, well on paper maybe. Hehe. I had such a fantastic day, a big thank you to everyone who contributed to my day - even if it was just by a text. Birthdays are so lovely, a time to make you feel loved and appreciated, even if it's not sincere. It's nice sometimes to pretend. 

Now, down to busy - UCAS is a bitch, options are even worse, the amount of things I need to do before Christmas is a joke! But, hopefully I'll be able to do it. Finger cross. Have faith me in, as I have hardly any in myself! I just can't wait for this time next year, the stress of all of this will be gone. Yes, granted I'll have a different type of stress probably - but this is making me go insane. 

I've been listening to Drake's - Club Paradise religiously this and last week. Didn't realise how much I like it, the lyrics seem appropriate for life at the moment, "It’s crazy all the emotions forgot in a year" - When I think about last year, or even the year before, I never thought things would be like this. Losing contact with people I thought I wouldn't and yes I know life gets in the way, but a little text or letter wouldn't go a miss. You can't say I haven't tried. But you know what, what's the point anymore? We've all got bigger fish to fry... 

Cannot wait for Snow Patrol's new album to come out on 17th! Aaaah. Love love love them. I've missed them. Even though a lot of their music is quite depressive. I like depressive if you haven't already guessed. Haha. 

LOVE YOU I.S - luncheon soon please? 

Life goes on... Right?

Off to do some work now. Argh. Please someone give me some reassurance. 

Have a good one. 

B x

If you're a bird. I'm a bird.

Short post today... I'm so tired from last nights fancy dress party! It was absolutely awesome, everyone made such and effort. Loved it. 

I think my tiredness is making me all too emotional today, you know when everything seems to be fine and dandy, then BAM good ol' emotions swoop in and mix everything up a bit. As if we all need that... The future is scaring me, a lot! Waaaaa. But anyway, here are some cute little posts that I love. 

Hope all is well. 

B x

We were just a couple of kids, but we really loved each other, didn't we? - The Notebook

In your heart, in your mind I'll stay with you for all of time...

I HATE ALEVELS!

I know all my posts sound like I'm some whiney bitch, honestly I'm not all the time. Promise!

Before I complain about how hard everything is at the moment, I'll recap on how good things have been. Best friend's birthday, various birthday shindigs, seeing Rihanna at the O2 and on the TUBE, seeing my best friends and making actual time for one another,  getting on the with boy well, weekly meetings of the two blondes and curley, seeing family from the other side of the world, etc. 

Everything has been good. Well, has been good outside of school hours. I'm struggling with school, if it wasn't bad enough UCAS being rammed down my throat yet again, I then find out my teacher has fucked up one of my predicted grades - meaning - that universities won't even look at me if I'm predicted grades aren't right. AAAAAAAAH. 

Just want to run away, I'm far too young for these life changing decisions... 

Missed blogging, but been so busy it's really the last thing on my mind. Sadly. 

Come on half term, almost there! 

Hope everything is better with all of you, or if you feel the same please someone tell me it's not just me. 

What would I do without my friends and the boy to help me? Seriously. 

Till I blog again... 

Have a good one. 

B x

“In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.” 
― Robert Frost

You drink as much as me, and I get drunk a lot.

I just realised my WHOLE blog is becoming some, Ed Sheeran shrine haha. Everything is to do with him. As you can probably tell, I'm OBSESSED with him and his new album. Just, ah, words cannot describe how good it is. And I don't know anyone who can't relate to at least one of his songs. Even though it may be a little depressing, you will appreciate the beauty of his voice and the lyrics. 


So, what's been happening with me? The answer, not a lot. The week did not start off on a good note. 8am, Monday morning, after my 100000000th outfit change (in that mood, NOTHING LOOKS NICE ON ME, WHY, WHY, WHY AM I SO FAT AND UNATTRACTIVE?!) so was not in the best of moods, wasn't feeling too well and hadn't had my morning necessity, caffeine. My dearest mother, bless her, decided to start yelling at me as we were going to be late for me going back to school. Which then progressed into a shouting and screaming match, all before 8.30 in the morning. The car journey, well, you could have cut the atmosphere with a knife. Awkward to say the least... But today wasn't too bad, the week seems to be going quite slowly, waaa. Hurry up weekend! 


A big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to I.S - she turns 18 today woo! <3


Don't you love being close with someone, as in someone that you weren't close with. Who you're now close with, someone you share everything with, that you're so open with. It's so comforting when you become friends with someone like that, you're just yourself with. They know your ins and outs, and are still there 24/7 no matter what. I've recently become so much closer with a few people, and it makes me feel so excited and flattered I suppose, that they feel so comfortable with you. Sometimes hearing stories about how others have treated people you love makes you want to scream - why are people so cruel to others? The moral of today, always say how you feel at the time... Otherwise it eats away at you. Not healthy for you! 


Anyway... To keep the Ed theme here, I'll leave you with one of my favourite quotes from his song, Kiss Me - "My heart's against your chest, your lips pressed in my neck. I'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet. And with this feeling I'll forget, I'm in love now."

And I know you love Shrek, cause we've watched it 12 times. And maybe we're hoping for a fairytale too?

Here I am. Haven't blogged for ages. Come to think of it, I haven't done anything I like for ages really. Been so busy, year 13 is so intense. So hard. Not coping too well at the moment. Am currently writing my drama notes and thinking about re-takes, making me want to cry. Moral of the story, I should have worked my f*cking ars* off to year 12... But what's done is done now. Argh. 


So my life, hmmmm. It's yeah, not very exciting. Currently thinking about last nights antics, a very good friend of mine had her 18th birthday party, got a little out of hand in places. But was a very good night overall. The outcome of the night - relationships are so hard. Like WOW. I always knew they were, first hand and through others, but I swear they just seem to get harder and harder the older you become. There is only so much you can give to another person, right? This is when you need to be with someone who is similar to you, not someone who is opposite. Whoever said opposites attract was chatting actual sh*t - seriously. 
History always effects the future, no matter how hard you try. So sometimes your relationship is doomed from the beginning, even though you hope it's not. Sometime the best thing you can do is try and if it doesn't change at least you can put your hand on your heart and say "I tried with all I had!" - rather then letting the relationship collapse in front of you. End it on a high, right? Easier said then done. 


Am absolutely shattered, went to bed at some ungodly hour, then went to the gym. Bad move B! Ah. So am going to try and finish these notes, then tidy my room and sleep. Can't wait to get into my bed (with my puppy), I have an unhealthy relationship with it. 


Just think - what were thinks like this time last year?... Scary to think hey, so much has changed. But as the year goes on it feels like nothing is changing. So, do you miss this time last year? Interesting isn't it. So, what's this time next year going to be like? Exciting. 


Off to finish my work. Gave my blog a revamp again! Hehe. 


Have a good one. 


B x


PS. Ed Sheeran's album + is the most amazing thing ever. Give Lego House and Kiss Me a listen to, makes me teary eyed! I know I'm a sap. Enjoyyyyy. x