OVERLOAD. Sums up how i am feeling at this exact moment. With grades, work, coursework, university days and drama practical being rammed even further down my throat i am beginning to go into over drive. I'll save you from the full blown hour long rant i just had to my dear mummar about how i am feeling, and how i feel i won't cope for much longer, let alone get my grades and get into the university of my choice. AAAAH. People don't seem to understand the pressure, i didn't think sixth form would be this intense, i mean i know everyone always says, "the jump from GCSE to A-levels is so high.. blah blah" i didn't actually think it would be like THIS.
So much to think about and do, in such little time. (Haha, says me whilst writing my blog when i could be doing some work! But i haven't blogged for along time, i didn't want to neglect it any longer.) I could just scream, i need a holiday... Now.
Well, apart from drowning in work and thought about the future, i am a happy bunny. Everything seems to be sailing along nicely, at the moment *TOUCH WOOD* eeeek.
Today, was a scary day. Went to Reading University to go and see and speak to people about what uni we wanted to go to and what courses we wanted to do. Was so intense. I came home with about 2454290 persecutors, some clearly VERY ambitious e.g. Edinburgh and some more moderately ambitious, was scary though, the thought that a) i won't be with the people i see everyday anymore. b) that i shan't be living at home anymore c) that i shall be an adult. d) I'm going to have to COOK for myself. e) that this choice of course and university will ultimately change my life. Oh how dramatic that sounds but it's true! Ah.
On a lighter note, i ran into many of my wonderful friends who i didn't expect to see. Which is always a nice surprise, lots of screaming and smiley faces! Hehe.
All of this is making me feel way too old for my liking. Yes i know we all want to be 18 and party and grow up ASAP, but today made me see that it's a scary world and I'm definitely not ready for it yet... Got a few more years, but still. It's coming.
Anyway, i must be off to finish off the rest of my humongous pile of work, most of which is in for Friday. COME ON FRIDAY hurry, hurry.
Oh, I'll try to blog more this week, but no promises, due to work etc.
Hope you have a good one.
B x
PS. Summer is definitely on it's way, yippeee sunshine - oh and look how cute this is, my kiwi has a love heart shaped middle! <3
I shall start by apologizing as i haven't blogged for a whole week, just been so busy with various things, mainly school work and my drama practical exam. Which is just before Easter so we're all trying to cram in practices, learn lines, find props/costumes etc. Can't wait for it all to be over! Only a few more weeks... Aaah, so scary.
The past week or so has been a good one if i recall correctly, i think everything seems to be slowly but surely falling into place, at last. It's so true all you need is to be patience and everything will smooth itself out - i realized talking about things doesn't necessarily make you forget about the past situations or upsets, but it sometimes helps to show that you've acknowledged those past occurrences and have moved on, or at least tried to. It allows you to see mistakes and regrets, but also to learn from them, I've also been thinking that even though you may regard someone highly in your life and have high expectations of them - a lot of them time, to our upset they don't regard us in such a higher fashion. Although as i earlier stated i feel it's been a good week and everything seems to be smoothing itself out, i can't help but forget the disappointment i have felt also.
It's sad to think that this feeling hasn't come from someone i don't particularly like, or care about, it hasn't come from someone i don't spend much time with or talk to. It has come from people that i feel especially close to and choose to spend time with and talk to about all the things under the sun. I know, i know, i sound like a parent who's teenager has been out all night drinking and then decided to come home and vomited all over the cream carpet, when they said they were popping to a friend's house, or something of a similar event, saying that "I'm very disappointed in your behaviour and i expected more from you..." But it just shows, that you can't be so quick to assume or judge or claim to know someone, as i promise that sooner or later they'll do something to make you feel disappointed or hurt. I'm not saying I'm a saint I'm not by any stretch of the imagination, i just hope that i wouldn't do the same things to make someone disappointed in me. Right, rant over.
Anywho, summer is most definitely on its way and I'm so ready for it (apart from the hurdles i have to overcome before i get there e.g. A LEVELS! Aaaah) I'm already preparing my summer holiday and making a list of what i want to do before it's over. I think getting my VFEST ticket definitely sped up the transition of winter to summer mind set. Eeeeek.
WEEK HURRY UP - I've got a very exciting weekend planned ahead, which i am looking forward to very much.
I'll try and blog a lot more this week as i have missed you all. Hehe. Anyway, English literature essay calls my name... BLAH to work.
Hope you have a good one.
B x
Oh, I'll try to blog more this week, but no promises, due to work etc.