You never see it coming, you just get to see it go.

Head or heart? That is the phrase of the day. It's a tough decision, I am the type of person who almost always chooses heart over head, we're young, naive, careless and allowed to, but I've been thinking (yes as usual) that maybe choosing your heart isn't always a wise move. It leaves you in such a muddle - if you do choose your heart and it works out, then everything seems to fall into place and work out just the way you planned, or better.

However, more times then not, it doesn't work out like that - to our sad reality. We end up being a blubbering mess, we think about him 24/7, checks our phone every spare second we have - and then when we do have a message desperately hoping that it's him! But to our disappointment, yes, once again it is our mother asking, "If we're okay?" and saying that, "He's really not worth it you're beautiful, his loss, i love you darling" when we know that she's just saying that to try and make us feel that little bit better about ourselves and because we're her daughter, she's byiest. When all we really want to do is, curl up into a ball, in bed, with hideous pajamas that only come out in the winter, and watch the Notebook or something along that genre of film, or to play the most depressing songs we own on our iPods on MAX volume crying, pretending this is the soundtrack to our life, with the biggest load of junk food you've ever seen, and to be not disturbed or spoken to for a good 5days. Then when we eventually come out of our dark chamber to try and face the rest of the world, we manage to cope for a couple of days/hours until yes, we have a relapse and this relapse occurs many times over the next 6-12month. Everything seems to remind us of him. I really wonder whether this happens to boys? 

In reaction to this, i am giving up, well almost, i feel that I've been in this situations i just described, too many times. With the boy(s) that i happen to be feeling like this over, aimlessly carries on with his life, worrying about football, CoD, food and other girls he now want to "get on" - this is why I've now decided to listen to my head some more, i don't think my heart could cope with more heartache, well not at the moment anyway, especially with valentines day already giving it palpitations. I'm the type of person that falls so deep that i lose sight of the whole picture, i end up drowning. Foolish girl. So i am trying to change that.

So, now I'm going to try and be most positive, who needs a boyfriend? I've been fine for years without one, so I'll be able to carry on and cope without one for more time (i hope it is only a bit longer or i may kill myself) - all you need is your best friends, they substitute everything! And i have the bestest friends anyone could ask for so I'm gonna be just fine... for the moment anyway. 

I love how my family joke and say I'm going to be like Bridget Jones, but in all seriousness i am. I can sense it myself. Well i can cook like her, I'm a hopeless romantic, i lead an embarrassing life, I'm so uncoordinated and i fancy Hugh Grant - basically 3/4 of the way there.

Well, the weekend is finally here and I'm so ready for it. Apart from the fact i have a driving lesson first thing tomorrow. FML. I hate driving. 

Right, my result of this thinking is - even though we usually choose our hearts, maybe it is a wiser, safer, less painful decision to choose our heads once and while. Or maybe I'm just being bitter, boring and too old for my time? Hmmm. We shall see. 

I'll leave you with a quote "Life's story is as quick as the wink of an eye... Love's story is merely hello and goodbye... Until we meet again" - Drake, Light Up.

Everything happens for a reason - and 9/10 it's never the end of the world.

Have a good one.

B x