Sick of all the insincere, so I’m gonna give all my secrets away...

Yes, result day finally came and has now nearly gone (thank God!) - and yes, the results went as planned, not overly well haha, but my AMAZING business teacher was so sweet about everything and said all the typical terms of endearment and for us not to worry about it etc. So i shan't, well not for a while anyway... 


This week has actually gone rather fast, faster then i thought as I've been looking forward to tomorrow evening and Saturday SO much. Eeeek, cannot wait. Although i do this a lot, really really look forward to something and then BAM it's an anticlimax, but i have faith that this shan't be happening... Of all weekends not this one. It's gonna be tough to beat last weekend also - but we shall see
hehe. 


I've spent the majority of the night burning various CDs for my good friend, such a compliment when people enjoy the same music as you and then want you to share your music with them. Music has helped me beyond belief now thinking about it, music to make you cry through hard times, music to make you laugh, music hold so many memories and certain songs manage to trigger them off - i love it! Remembering who you were with, where you were, when you were there, why you were there... Without music in the last 5 months i think i would of collapsed in a humongous heap, even though artists don't always experience the experiences they talk about in their songs, sometimes
it's nice to listen to a song that seems to describe the pain that you're going through - genuine or not. 



I've also come to the conclusion feeling not good enough is possibly the worst thing in the world, i've been feeling that so much recently that i can't even comprehend how i feel in words to myself, let alone other people. I hate how nothing goes how we want, i know that sometimes it's fun living on edge and not sticking to the plan etc. etc. but i wish for once everything would work out. *big sigh*... So, Lily Allen has managed to put how i feel (well as much as one can) into a song.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my big sister :) - i love birthdays, especially for people you love loads! Hehe. 

 Hope you had a good one. 

B x 

Our love was lost. But now we've found it.

I think it's safe to say i am so tired i could pass out right now - alas, i wanted to do my blog so I'm fighting the lack of sleep, but i know that it will soon get the better of me!! 


Today was most definitely, just another manic Monday - everything seemed none stop, work is quickly piling up and i don't seem to have any of it under control, and when i then try to sit down and actually do some work either, i manage to distract myself, something more appealing comes up or the people I'm surrounded by whilst i try to work manage to distract me beyond belief. Gosh, it's a losing battle if I'm honest - although i managed to finish my philosophy tonight YEY! Work didn't happen to be the only thing i felt was manic though! Ah, why do things all seem to happen in waves? Waves of good, waves of bad, waves of indifferent.


All i've wanted the whole day was a big cuddle, sometimes all you need is that. No words need to be said, no explanation as to why you want a cuddle, nothing else, it is the most amazing feeling when you're hugging someone you feel so comfortable and safe with, nothing can beat it! That's what I've been craving all day... Hmmm, maybe it's a certain cuddle I want? Oh I don't know... 


I'm hoping this week is better then I'm anticipating - in my mind it's gonna be awful and go so slowly, I wish it would hurry up and be the weekend already. ALTHOUGH saying that, the weather put me in such a good mood, was so sunny and made me once again think about the summer, I'm looking forward to it beyond belief, I'm not sure if it's healthy? Haha.  


Another crisis is clothing, i feel that i have no clothes and am beginning to panic. Especially when everyone else seems to look banging and i feel like BLAH - new clothes seems to make you feel so much better - actually, new everything seems to make you feel better, until it's at the weird stage where it's not new and not old. Hmmm. 


Right, I'm shattered typing is now becoming more of an effort then expected and my eyes seem to be blinking longer then they should - don't think eating so much bread and butter pudding helped either, i love the feeling of a fully tummy when you go to bed... Hehe. Right off to listen to some Kate Nash and Burberry Acoustic. 


Hope you have a good one. 


B x