I will remember your face... cause I am still in love with that place.

Yesterday was exactly what i needed, popped into town to The National Gallery in Leciester Square, with one of my best friends. Was such a good day, we had a good look around the gallery, me just for pleasure, her for pleasure and she had been studying a few of the paintings in history of art. I really enjoy art galleries and the amazing pieces of art, all unique and have a story behind them, to some extent i wish i had carried on some form of an art subject, but it turned my pleasure into a chore which is ultimately why i decided against it, and because my teacher disliked me, quite a considerable amount actually and the coursework was a bitch... 

After having a look round the art gallery we had lunch, good old Pret A Manger can't beat it! However, London wouldn't be London if there wasn't something strange and wonderful going on just look... 

Yes this man had decided to wear a straight jackets and then chain himself up, he then proceeded to get out of the chains and jacket in just 3minutes!! I actually found it quite painful to watch, turning my head but then wanting to watch, it was crazy, he even dislocated his arm. I just don't understand what would possess you to do that, haha, he was amusing whilst escaping from the chains - which definitely has to be an impressive talent! God i just love London and it's weirdness. 

After that excitement, we then decided to go The Little Black Gallery just off of Fulham Road, we walked from South Kensington Station, i think we underestimated just how far that actually was, as did my iPhone, without that phone i would be lost. It's amazing. We didn't even end up going into the gallery, we both chickened out, they were snotty, look down their nose at you kind of people, just because we were young etc. So we took a detour to Stanford Bridge and had a look round the ground, was actually more exciting then i expected haha. 

The last few days i've had that empty feeling, but can't put my finger on how to fix it. Hmmm, i know there are things i should do for my own good, but sometimes i just don't want to do them, i hate feeling like i should do something when i don't want to. There are plenty of others who do whatever they want and seem to have no karma from it, it's just so unfair. Hopefully everything will sort itself out really soon, as i'm getting so fed up here. And i don't think it's particularly good for my health due to the fact i'm consuming so much tea, can't be good. 

Ah, this week is just going so fast. It's so unfair, and i guarantee next week will go so slowly due to being back at school... BLAH. Hope those on half term had a good one and those at school haha, but i hope you had a good week too! 

Have a good one. 

B x

I feel like i'm in crazy competition with the past.

Been a strange day - I've had that lack of sleep feeling, but i had a 12hour sleep, the feeling that it's a Sunday night and that I'm going back to school, the sink in your tummy and heart, but it's not Sunday and I'm not going back to school yet. The feeling that if someone said the wrong thing to me, or jokely insulted me as banter that i would just burst into tears. I can't seem to shake those feelings off... and it's driving me insane. 

So I've just been listening to Drake on repeat, over and over (particularly Closer To My Dreams). Quite surprised my laptop hasn't blown up to be honest...

I came to thinking that it really doesn't matter what you have, in a materialistic way, that effects people loving you - what i mean is, even though someone has expensive clothing, cars, houses, goes on holiday, buys amazing presents doesn't mean they will end up with what they want. It doesn't mean you're guranateed to fall in love with someone, or that the person you love will fall in love with you. See what i mean? 

That materialistic things don't really change your life, or mean that you're more likely to be happier then the next person. Of course a pair of Christian Louboutin would make me an extremely happy bunny, but they don't change how your heart is effected by things. It's all down to you as a person and how you handle situations, to effect the outcome of your happiness and what you want/deserve, and how the other person/people involved in the situation handle it. If it's meant to be it'll be, if it's not it won't be. As simple as that.  

I hate the fact half term seems to be running away far too quickly for my liking, and the humongous pile of work i have to do is just staring me. Hmmm, should probably do it soon, should being the highlighted word there. 

NOMNOMNOM, friends and good food, wow, i really owe my friends so much... Hehe. I am so looking forward to the next couple of days. Eeek. But it's bittersweet i then know i'm closer to the end of half term. Meow. 

Have a good one.

B x

I'm somewhere between - what is real, and just a dream.

After watching No Strings Attached in bed last night, i decided to make a list - a list of things that i had learned over the course of my life so far... It was an interesting list, ranging from light hearted things such as "iPhone 4's are most definitely NOT waterproof."  to deeper things like "you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret, it may change your life forever." I think as teenagers we experience so much in our adolescent years, and sometimes we don't get enough credit for it - we are expected to perform well in exams, get on with our parents, have a social life, have a boyfriend/girlfriend and keep them happy, whilst keeping ourselves happy... It's a juggling act, and of course at times it becomes way too difficult to do, so we then drop everything, or lack in one or all of those areas listed above. I know life is hard and some people have it worse then others, but why isn't life easy? I of course have answered this question before to friends saying "otherwise it would be boring..."  Which of course is right, sometimes it's hard to remember that and sometimes boring is good. Well, in my opinion!


So i guess you're wondering what i thought of No Strings Attached - I'll put aside the fact that i fancy Aston Kutcher, and say it was such a good film, i thoroughly enjoyed it from the minute it started to the few tears that ran down my cheek at the end. It really highlights that everything gets more complicated when emotions are thrown into the situation, if you go into a situation with the mind set I'm using you, you're using me it works really well, both in it for their own needs/reasons, but everyone knows that it is only a matter of time before one or both people involved will develop feelings etc. Yes it sucks, so it means that you can only be in that situation for a short amount of time. Maybe that's a good thing? Not getting attached to someone, or relying on someone - otherwise when things do eventually end, you end up in a huge heap on the floor, doing a Bridget Jones, not knowing how to recover from what feels like the worst feeling ever, like your world has come to an end. 


I hate relying on people, because at the end of the day - you came into the world on your own (twins, triplets etc. are an exception) so you're gonna leave on your own, everyone leaves you e.g. death, loss of a relationship/friendship, moving away, drifting etc... 
What a cynical view, but it's true. In the words of Mr Marley, "truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you've just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." One of the truest things i've ever heard. The sad reality of people, relationships and trust, ah well, to make yourself feel better; all you need is best friends, family and a good cup of tea... In the end everything always sorts itself out, not matter what the situation is. Always try to remember "everything happens for a reason" even if you can't quite see the reason yet, you will, in time. I promise -- broken promises are the most dreadful things, so i wouldn't promise it unless i knew i was a thousand percent sure.


Can't wait to catch up with even more friends this half term, changing schools has really benefitted all our friendships, either making or breaking them - and i'd like to say the majority of them have made me SO much closer with people, happy, happy. Eeeek. Half term - definitely what the doctor called for! 


Sorry for the emotional cocktail of my blog today... Haha, the next one will be more consistent. 


Have a good one. 


B x

And I'd gladly hit the road get up and go if I knew, that someday it would bring me back to you...

EEEEEEEK. The best start to half term, ever. It was, ah so good, went out for a very dear friend's birthday to one of my favourite restaurants Hakkasan - best Asian inspired food ever!! Then out to Aura afterwards... Where i bumped into a few friends i knew, such a small world, it's kinda scary. What more could i of wanted? Amazing food and amazing company of all my bestest friends. Heheh. This has now started my half term on a high... Lets hope it stays this way! Haha.


While i was recovering yesterday from; nearly breaking my ankle down the stairs of Aura, my lack of sleep, my alcohol intake and sticky eyelids from my eyelashes, yes i did go overboard on the glue (i really worry they're gonna come off.), i realized it is BIG TIME the little things that make people so happy, i mean, everyone always says it's the little things in life that make us happy, but i hadn't realized it to this extent. Until yesterday, my wonderful mummar made me, yes PANCAKES... What a lady. I then realized last night that asking someone if they're okay really makes a difference, as well does telling someone that you love them and that you're sorry also has an impact on them. Whether they're genuine or not, you can't really tell. But still, if it makes you feel better then, i suppose it doesn't matter too much. Well, it depends really... Still. It's definitely the little things.


After my delicious pancakes, i decided to watch Blood Diamond with my siblings and my mummar - such an error, the fact i was feeling all of the above ^^ did not help me in hiding my feelings towards the subjects raised in the film - i was hysterical, to the point i couldn't speak, yes THAT bad. And the things is, i don't classify myself as a person who cries easily, especially not in films. So i'm blaming my moment of weakness on all those factors. Haha. The only film i think i have ever been ridiculous in e.g. can't breathe, can't speak, for a good 20minutes has been Changelling - GOD. If you haven't seen it i recommend it a million times, however, have a large box of tissues beside you. I don't know one person who hasn't cried in it. 


Well, i'm off to ice my ankle - yes, my fall was that bad! Then off to lunch with a lovely lady, YUM Fegos and a catch up session is just what i need. 


SUCKERS to those going back to school. Heheh. 


Have a good one. 


B x

If you make it rain, then she'll be under the weather.

Blah, i hate being ill - it's so boring, absolutely nothing to do, daytime television is just appalling, I'd rather watch paint dry! I actually mean it. Although, i do love a bit of loose women, SO much sexual innuendo on the program it's hysterical. I love it. 


To try and make myself feel a little better, i decided a bath would be an appropriate option, while i was in the bath and reading Why Men Lie and Why Women Cry, such a fantastic book, i definitely recommend it! I got onto one of my favourite parts of the book so far; Solving the Seven Biggest Mysteries About Men - i shan't list them as they're far too long, but anyway, the most intriguing one, in my opinion had to be What Do Men Really Talk About In The Rest Room? Come to think about it, what do they talk about? The answer i discovered, NOTHING absolutely, nothing. What a let down. So i then stopped reading the book and let my mind wonder about other things...


While it was wondering, i realized another word i hate, along with other words such as; snog, snot, mince, MOIST, canoodling and so forth... this word, that i hate isn't to do with the images it conjures up that makes you feel quite nauseous or disgusted no, it is the simple word of JUST - it seems to ruin everything, for example, "it was just a kiss" or "we're just friends"... It tries to degrade the feelings that someone has towards someone else, or the situation that they're in. It makes everything seem to be a let down, or an anticlimax. This is why i now have added it to my hate list, it hurts your feelings. So i think people shouldn't use it, it makes things sound and seem much nicer, or maybe people use it to try and put a guard up? To try and not face up to their own feeling, maybe they're scared? Or maybe it's their way to semi-reject someone, because they're too weak to do it properly? Either way, i hate it. Hmmm. 


I'm so excited, half term is in my sight now, just tomorrow (basically) and BOOM I'm there aaaaah. 


Oh and i have a new obsession Josh Kloss, you beautiful, beautiful man, i mean look at him - yes he is the guy from Katy Perry's, Teenage Dream video nomnomnom. He has kept me happy today, while I've been feeling sorry for myself in bed. Haha. 




Mission; to try and find a Josh Kloss look alike, it's gonna be a tough one. But i mean, wow. Hehe. 


Hope you have a good one. And that none of you are ill :( 


B x

I listen to her heartbeat 'cause it plays my favorite song.

HAPPY VALENTINES!! Well, today wasn't as nearly as bad as i thought it was going to be, yes there were cute couples everywhere, yes there were red roses sent around school throughout the day, yes there was way more affection surrounding school. However, it wasn't as bad i as first imagined - as singletons everyone seems to sulk every time we hear of something coupley, and bad mouth couples like, "doesn't that make you sick" and "PDA, God get a room guys!" ... the bottom line, however many times all singletons deny it, is because, yes, we're ALL jealous. I mean don't get me wrong, i'm sure somedays singletons enjoy being single and yes it's true, less hassle and more pleasing yourself, but, on days such as today i don't know one person who didn't wish they were in a relationship - if you do, then they are most definitely lying. 
Although i must admit the day did make me feel a tad inadequate with couples surrounding me, and planning their dinner out together. But blah, i'm saving money not having to buy a present for someone, saving for my shoes! Eeeee.


Ah, perfect combination, egg custard tar, glass of milk, hot water bottle, bed. I am not feeling too well today (i don't think the two brownies and the iced cup cake helped!) i have an awful throat and slight headache. So this is my comfort on Valentines, what more could i want? HA. 


So, on the whole - today was a good day, a cake sale, seeing happy, loved up people, the sun was shining eeeek, i got my egg custard tar and have now got some money! WHAYYYY. On the down side, Mr Bryant ruined my love of nursery rhymes and made me realize most of them are cynical, sexist, racist and down right creepy. Oh, and i'm not on half term, which makes me sad and jealous of all those people who are getting lie ins while i have to wake up to the sound of my alarm (Ed Sheeran though so not too bad)  -- I hope this week flies by, now that i've said this i bet it's gonna go so slow! ARGH. 


Anyways, i'm still knackered from Saturday evening, so off to sleep. Hope you all had a lovely Valentines, no matter what you were doing, whether that was being spoilt rotten by your significant other half (i hate you) or spending it with friends. 


Have a good one.


B x


P.S hope you enjoyed the video! Yes i have an obsession with post secret <3 

The worst things in life come free to us.

Aaah, what a weekend. I am now paying the price from the night before, no not a hangover before you jump to conclusions, sleep deprivation! I had such a top night - filled with lots of; dancing, talking, laughing and drinking with such an awesome bunch of people. Hehe. Another awesome element of last night was the fact i bumped into quite a few people i hadn''t seen in agesssss. Love that feeling when you see someone you haven't for such a long time, and by the end of the evening it feels like you've never been apart. 


I really cannot be bothered for school, much too tired and the thought of being at school on valentines day fills me with dread with all the cute couples that will surround me. Blah. Although things are looking up, there will be a cake sale, which always makes me really content for the rest of the day. I don't get valentines, if you love someone surely show them all the time? Instead of just on a particular day?! Hmmm... Maybe i don't get it 'cos I'm single? I just think of it as a clever marketing ploy? Haha, cynical some may say, yes. 


Another thing which I'm so happy about is that Pocahontas is now showing on channel 5, one of my favourite Disney films but Peter Pan has to be number 1, closely followed by Alice in Wonderland - then Pocahontas. 


He was unique. He was eccentric. He was controversial. And a year after his death, he is far from forgotten. Alexander McQueen was known for his effortless ability to leave his audiences wide-eyed, in a state of subdued trepidation and uneasy anticipation as to what was about to manifest before them on the catwalk in each and everyone one of his shows. On 11th February 2010, Alexander McQueen's body was found in his flat in Mayfair, London - so i thought that i would tribute a section of my blog to one of fashion's greatest assets. And although McQueen is sadly no longer with us, Sarah Burton has been left to tend to the very much alive legacy, and there's no doubt that she'll do him and what he stood for, truly proud.


I found my shoes that i want, i am desperate to have them. I really should start saving up, but i am a terrible saver - if i have money i spend it! My new years resolution to save more has really gone out of the window, so I'm trying to change this! Ah why are things so expensive sometimes? I think the quote "champagne taste with beer money" seems to sum up my predicament very well! Apart from i had money, but spent it, mostly on food. 

Aren't they prettyful? My friend Sammy has them... Aaah, if only we were the same size shoe. 


Hope you all had as good as weekend as i did, and for all those on half term next week, I HATE YOU ALL. 


Have a good one. 


B x

You never see it coming, you just get to see it go.

Head or heart? That is the phrase of the day. It's a tough decision, I am the type of person who almost always chooses heart over head, we're young, naive, careless and allowed to, but I've been thinking (yes as usual) that maybe choosing your heart isn't always a wise move. It leaves you in such a muddle - if you do choose your heart and it works out, then everything seems to fall into place and work out just the way you planned, or better.

However, more times then not, it doesn't work out like that - to our sad reality. We end up being a blubbering mess, we think about him 24/7, checks our phone every spare second we have - and then when we do have a message desperately hoping that it's him! But to our disappointment, yes, once again it is our mother asking, "If we're okay?" and saying that, "He's really not worth it you're beautiful, his loss, i love you darling" when we know that she's just saying that to try and make us feel that little bit better about ourselves and because we're her daughter, she's byiest. When all we really want to do is, curl up into a ball, in bed, with hideous pajamas that only come out in the winter, and watch the Notebook or something along that genre of film, or to play the most depressing songs we own on our iPods on MAX volume crying, pretending this is the soundtrack to our life, with the biggest load of junk food you've ever seen, and to be not disturbed or spoken to for a good 5days. Then when we eventually come out of our dark chamber to try and face the rest of the world, we manage to cope for a couple of days/hours until yes, we have a relapse and this relapse occurs many times over the next 6-12month. Everything seems to remind us of him. I really wonder whether this happens to boys? 

In reaction to this, i am giving up, well almost, i feel that I've been in this situations i just described, too many times. With the boy(s) that i happen to be feeling like this over, aimlessly carries on with his life, worrying about football, CoD, food and other girls he now want to "get on" - this is why I've now decided to listen to my head some more, i don't think my heart could cope with more heartache, well not at the moment anyway, especially with valentines day already giving it palpitations. I'm the type of person that falls so deep that i lose sight of the whole picture, i end up drowning. Foolish girl. So i am trying to change that.

So, now I'm going to try and be most positive, who needs a boyfriend? I've been fine for years without one, so I'll be able to carry on and cope without one for more time (i hope it is only a bit longer or i may kill myself) - all you need is your best friends, they substitute everything! And i have the bestest friends anyone could ask for so I'm gonna be just fine... for the moment anyway. 

I love how my family joke and say I'm going to be like Bridget Jones, but in all seriousness i am. I can sense it myself. Well i can cook like her, I'm a hopeless romantic, i lead an embarrassing life, I'm so uncoordinated and i fancy Hugh Grant - basically 3/4 of the way there.

Well, the weekend is finally here and I'm so ready for it. Apart from the fact i have a driving lesson first thing tomorrow. FML. I hate driving. 

Right, my result of this thinking is - even though we usually choose our hearts, maybe it is a wiser, safer, less painful decision to choose our heads once and while. Or maybe I'm just being bitter, boring and too old for my time? Hmmm. We shall see. 

I'll leave you with a quote "Life's story is as quick as the wink of an eye... Love's story is merely hello and goodbye... Until we meet again" - Drake, Light Up.

Everything happens for a reason - and 9/10 it's never the end of the world.

Have a good one.

B x 

It's becoming something that's impossible to ignore.

Today, has been a day full of reflection. Whether that is a good thing or not I'm not entirely sure yet... Some painful memories, however a lot were the complete opposite and ones I hope never to forget. Particularly one of my dear friend Lulu jumping out of a moving bicycle taxi at a ridiculous hour in the morning whilst i was munch away on an orange with two other dear friends. Hahah. Quite surprised i can remember if i'm brutally honest. 


Anywho, I've was thinking a lot today, never a moment where my brain didn't seem to be thought processing - in result of this, I realized that we all try to do many things in life to be 'noticed' by the person we are deeply besotted or attracted to, and seem to forget that a lot of the time there is no need. If someone doesn't love you, want to be with you, for yourself than really, what is the point?
Somehow we created a show, a play, a character of someone who we aren't, in order for someone that we love to love us how we desperately want to be loved. The reality of this, is that we are forced to pretend, pretend to be someone we are not and i guarantee that the person you have created isn't half and amazing as you truly are! Honestly, I mean it.

My thoughts on this are, to be yourself, all you can be is someone that can be loved. The rest is up to them, and if they don't seem to see how different, unique and wonderful you really are - then they are by no means worth your time, love and let only tears. (And yes i do understand i am i fine one to talk about this subject, yes you may call me a hypocrite haha but still i'm offering my advice, it doesn't mean i take it.) Yet another result of this thought is now that I'm extremely tired and my brain hurts. Too much thinking, it's not good for you haha. If thinking was an exercise for you body, not mind I would be size 0. Alas...


I'm very excited for tonight, seeing some tremendous actresses - performing their A-level drama practical. I know they will be breathtaking as always, and of course i cannot wait to see some old friends who i sorely miss. 


Sad thought - NO MORE CREW :( I miss our little family, our sessions of piss taking and shouting with a teacher who cannot control us, especially on a sugar high from the biscuits or on a caffeine high due to too much coffee. Thursdays shan't be the same. Hehe. 


Oh and secret diary was fantastic as always, who knew Tim would be so cute!! Eee. Shame he was gay... and for God's sake Ben and Bell sort your lives out and settle down already. Next week looks incredible, yes i know i seem to say that every week but it's true. 


Ah nearly Friday thank the Lord. Weekend aaaaaaaah - it is a much needed one! Anyways 


Have a good one. 


B x

I caught a glimpse, but its been forgotten.

So, I'm in debit, a substantial amount of debit if I'm honest. I need to think of two, serious, solutions; as the ones I've thought of really haven't been very realistic, ranging from either "helping" around the house HA, fat chance - to becoming a prostitute like Bell on Secret Diary. Both I think I'm going to scrap, as I don't particularly want to do either. If any of you think of some good solutions to my problem, please let me know, I'd appreciate it deeply!!

When I was sat in my philosophy lesson today about evil, it made me think, think about God and religion (yes I appreciate this is very "deep" to be in my blog, but it has been bothering me) - I've come to the conclusion, I don't believe in God. If he does exist then why is there so much suffering? I would understand if it was to people who deserved it, but it hardly ever is. It frustrates me so much, if he did really exist then why are there such things as cancer, aids, HIV, disability etc. Nothing seems to explain that, there seems to be no logical reason... Which then makes me think about one of my favourite quotes "Sometimes I wonder if God will ever forgive us for what we have done to each other, then I look around and I realize God left this place a long time ago." - Blood Diamond. Maybe that's the answer? Maybe God decided to abandon us when we started making wrong decisions in life, and started inflicting pain and heartache on one other. Hmm. I know life isn't fair, I know that first hand, but innocent people are effected by such acts of evil for no valid reason. It baffles me. 


I cannot wait for summer, today seemed to be the day when I started to get excited about the aspect of wearing a summer dress with NO TIGHTS and flip flops! Eee. I think it started because if you hadn't known it was winter outside today you would assume the temperature would of been like a "warm" British summer... Ah wow. 


2hours till Secret Diary! This will fulfill my excitement about summer for now. Ah television what would we do without you? To let us forget about how the harsh reality of our life can be. 
Wow tonight my blog is depressing I apologise! Tomorrow it shall be happier, promise. 


Have a good one. 


B x

If you're shooting for the stars - then just shoot me.

Yes, it's the start of the week again! Grrr, the weekends always seem to go so fast - especially when they're good weekends. Monday night and we all know what that means yes, Glee is back on our television screens, I must admit I'm not really a Glee fan although I did watch the Britney one as I'm Britney's number one fan!! Well almost tight call between me and three of my friends ;) ah when we went to go see her on her circus tour I literally thought that I was either going to cry my eyes out, or wet my pants! To my amazement I did neither, although I was too close for comfort. 


I'm so happy today is over, did you know it was national skiver's day today! Most people claim to be 'ill' or come up with a ridiculous excuse to not go to work/school - when I was waking up this morning I turned on the radio to try and woo me out of my deep sleep, in my warm bed I heard this woman saying that she told her boss she couldn't come to work because she had lost her shoes. I mean for God's sake think of a better excuse than that, this really makes me think, why would you employ someone who had only one pair of shoes? And someone who would make up such an appalling excuse?! At least employ someone who can lie, or humour you. 


Speaking of employment, we have been told we need to start thinking about work experience for the summer, so I decided to apply for different places. The one I'm most excited about if they accept my application is ITV eeee - to work behind the scenes.


I am currently listening to Ed Sheeran in bed, perfect combination. Trying to NOT think about any sort of romance or of Valentines day - both proving extremely hard. So shall shortly be changing from Ed to Weezy, always lightens up my mood! 


Anyways, I shall be looking to tomorrow night SECRET DIARY eeee. I'll keep you up to date about Bell and Ben... Aaah another love relationship what is the world trying to do? Make me more depressed about this time of year. Clearly. 


Have a good one. 


B x

You're using your headphones to drown out your mind.

Nomnomnom it's official, I had one of the best breakfasts I've ever had this morning! Ah wow. Was a much needed one after the evening I had - usually every other Saturday I go to my friends house we have a small dinner party consisting of the same people, it sounds like it would be boring doing the same thing with the same people every other week, but I can tell you it's the furthest thing from boring!! You know that feeling you get in your tummy when you've been laughing so much and then you try to pull yourself back together but it takes one person to start smirking or laughing again to set everyone off again it was like that, for the best part of 30minutes! The boys decided to cook us supper this week, however, us girls started the cooking process for them - we boiled the water for the pasta and went out and bought the pesto so it was a team effort if we're all honest. Desert was then provided by the girls a very delicious and calorie filled banoffee cake, was so worth it though! 


I also came to the conclusion last night that, all you need is good company to put you in a good mood, no matter how you may be feeling at the beginning of the evening it is almost unquestionable that you'll end on a high. The problem is when you're then alone that you have more time to think about things and reflect on stuff, during this stage of reflection I also came to the conclusion that the worst feeling is the feeling of replacement. It is a horrible and degrading feeling, one of which I appear to be feeling now, due to friendships and a boy (yes, however much I hate to say). One that I cannot seem to shake off, that I wish so much that I could. So the solution I have now thought of is that I shall try not to spend too much time alone and too much timing thinking. Haha. 


I'm now awfully tired because of the chiming of the Eton College chapel, so I'm going to try and attempt to finish my monstrous pile of work and then a hot bath, early to bed tonight. Blah to going back to school... I'm going to try and milk my ear infection with the mother. Hehe.


Oh and finally, look at this photo, if windows of shops and adverts weren't enough, they're now advertising valentines day on CUPCAKES. Jesus Christ, it shall be a depressing day for all of us singletons. *sigh* we shall soldier on together - which also raises the question why isn't there a single day? Hmmm. An idea we should put forward... Anyway hope you all had a good weekend and I shall keep you updated on the week's current affairs. 


Have a good one. 


B x

Silent, screaming, blur...

Of course, my bubble was officially burst today! After writing on Wednesday evening that i was having a good week and everything seemed to be in my favor, I of course came back to reality with a BANG - always remember: EVERYTHING IS ALWAYS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE! *sigh*

I shan't bore you with all the details, but lets just say, work came and bit me in the arse. I now having to finish my English coursework and do an essay plan for drama, along with various business work I completely forgot about! ARGH. 

Another harsh reality happened to be yes, however much I hate to say this, was caused by a BOY, yes a BOY. He of course doesn't realize that he has effected my mood drastically, to my dismay! Why? Why do guys do this? Become all ambiguous and play 'hard to get' don't they understand yes, it's fun to start off with when you're getting to know one another, but after a while it's just tedious and a waste of time! More than anything I'm confused and a little upset, however much I hate to say I'm upset (I hate to admit I'm upset, feels like admitting defeat) and there he is without a worry in the world - probably chatting up some stunning, stick of an insect, well-spoken brunette, while I'm sat on the sofa bumming out, eating Ben & Jerry's in my pajamas watching Poirot, feeling extremely sorry for myself and unloved, with the mind set of "what's wrong with me?!" NMJCKWNFIVCMKO. i hate boys. more than I hate food shopping and maths, which is seriously saying something! 

The last reason my good mood has been ripped to shreds is that i now have an ear infection, which burdens me with excruciating pain... So how i feel right now is FML. 


Although i am very much looking forward to the weekend :) something to try and up my mood! Which I shall fill you all in on... Lucky you haha.


Last and by no means lease, something that has really bothered me in the last month or so, why? Oh why? Does EVERYONE seem to be breaking up with their other half? I've heard about so many breakups recently, i hate breakups! Makes me so sad, I love relationships, well other people's relationships - as mine seem to fail, alas that's another matter. Not enough time haha... Everyone needs to sort out their lives and not break up, especially not during the winter or near VALENTINES DAY. Gosh. Oh great another day i shan't be looking forward to! I feel for all you singletons! Mainly because I am one :( 


Anyways, have a lovely weekend. Speak soon. 


B x

...So honey, step down from your throne.

Is it me or is this week going actually quite fast? Can't believe we're on Thursday (basically) already! I'm currently listening to Adele's new album which I absolutely LOVE, I've waited so long for this - as a hardcore Adele fan since her album 19, which came out in 2008! So it is very exciting to now have her now new album... My favourites have to be "Someone Like You", "Lovesong" and "He Won't Go" give them a listen, i promise you won't be disappointed! 

This week has been awfully exciting too, the new Secret Diary started last night - I adore Billie Piper, i think she's gorgeous with her bone structure.. Anyway the new episode was awesome it made me realize how much I've missed it! So if you don't watch it DOOO!

Another reason why this week has been exciting is that I seem for the moment to be up to date on work, which always puts you in a better mood, and that I cannot wait for the weekend!! I'm seeing nearly all my favourite people, jam packed. I can't wait to see L he is my best friend, have been for years, but we have the type of friendship where we don't need to necessary see each other all the time, or speak everyday, but no matter what we're still best friends - I love easy friendships like that. 

So, we're off for a big catch up and yummy food in London, and then on to see some other friends. Then I'm off to a dinner party thing, gosh better stop eating for the rest of the week... haha!!


I'll keep you updated.


B x