We're just ordinary people, we don't know which way to go...

I hate missing people. It is one of the most unsatisfying feelings in the WHOLE world, especially when you know that even though you're missing that person it doesn't mean; (a) they miss you back - which is quite possibly the most hurtful and depressing feeling ever. To think that you're the one who is left with all these feelings, whilst they carry on unaffected with their life. Ouch. (b) that you two will be reunited sooner then you first thought - which is an equally hurtful feeling, that even though you both miss one another doesn't mean you can speed up time to reunite yourselves, due to other commitments or whatever it may be. 

I don't think you ever fully get over the emotion of missing someone, you just put it on hold or try to fill your time with various other things to do, to stop you from thinking about that person. But sooner or later you have a relapse and are back to square one again, blah, why can't feelings be like a tap - turn them off and on, everything would be so much easier and there would be less broken hearts! Well, i'd like to think there would be. 


The thought of missing someone who doesn't miss you back really gets to me like REALLY, you're sat there wasting your energy and emotions on someone who really couldn't give less of a sh*t about you, feeling like that in any kind of a relationship is so degrading. Also gives you the mind set of why don't they miss me? What's wrong with me? How is this fair i miss them? - answer, life isn't fair and people rarely care (BAM a rhyme how amazing!)... I wish i didn't miss anyone ever, but then that wouldn't make me appreciate how lucky i am, i suppose. It's a tough one, to miss or not to miss - that the question? *sigh* --- But, don't you always miss someone? Whether it's consciously or subconsciously, no? Well, if you think about it you probably do. If not someone then something? Or the way things were? As we never seem to be content haha. 


On a happier note, SECRET DIARY tonight, yes sir, it's gonna be a waste of an episode though, i can tell. Ben won't be in it, neither will Harry, hmmm, the episodes are getting quite tame - well in comparison to what they were like haha. 


School is back, not going too badly yet touch wood - just the morning wake ups are killing me slowly, so hard to get back into a routine and as the holidays some what turn me nocturnal. It's proving much more difficult then anticipated. Plus the work load is piling up nicely... No rest for the wicked! On a drama trip tomorrow, which i'm not particularly looking forward to as i'm so tired, and we shan't be back till very late. Well, it's basically Wednesday. Half way there. Keep going. Aaaaah. 


Have a good one. 


B x