Wednesday 23 February 2011

I feel like i'm in crazy competition with the past.

Been a strange day - I've had that lack of sleep feeling, but i had a 12hour sleep, the feeling that it's a Sunday night and that I'm going back to school, the sink in your tummy and heart, but it's not Sunday and I'm not going back to school yet. The feeling that if someone said the wrong thing to me, or jokely insulted me as banter that i would just burst into tears. I can't seem to shake those feelings off... and it's driving me insane. 

So I've just been listening to Drake on repeat, over and over (particularly Closer To My Dreams). Quite surprised my laptop hasn't blown up to be honest...

I came to thinking that it really doesn't matter what you have, in a materialistic way, that effects people loving you - what i mean is, even though someone has expensive clothing, cars, houses, goes on holiday, buys amazing presents doesn't mean they will end up with what they want. It doesn't mean you're guranateed to fall in love with someone, or that the person you love will fall in love with you. See what i mean? 

That materialistic things don't really change your life, or mean that you're more likely to be happier then the next person. Of course a pair of Christian Louboutin would make me an extremely happy bunny, but they don't change how your heart is effected by things. It's all down to you as a person and how you handle situations, to effect the outcome of your happiness and what you want/deserve, and how the other person/people involved in the situation handle it. If it's meant to be it'll be, if it's not it won't be. As simple as that.  

I hate the fact half term seems to be running away far too quickly for my liking, and the humongous pile of work i have to do is just staring me. Hmmm, should probably do it soon, should being the highlighted word there. 

NOMNOMNOM, friends and good food, wow, i really owe my friends so much... Hehe. I am so looking forward to the next couple of days. Eeek. But it's bittersweet i then know i'm closer to the end of half term. Meow. 

Have a good one.

B x

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